I Had the Right to Remain Silent...But I Didn't Have the Ability by Ron White

Author:Ron White
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, pdf
Tags: Humor, Form, Entertainment & Performing Arts, General, Topic, Adult, Biography & Autobiography, Essays, Comedians
ISBN: 9780451221155
Publisher: NAL Trade
Published: 2007-05-01T04:00:00+00:00

Normally my wife's a very sensuous woman. One time we were driving down the road, and she decided to give me the highway delight. Or, as I like to affectionately refer to it, a mouth hug.

And I was pleasantly surprised, but the other people in the carpool got all pissed off.

"We gotta get these kids to school."

"She loves chocolate."

I think it's kind of odd that in twenty years of constant traveling doing stand-up comedy, I've never become a member of the mile-high club. That's where you have sex in a plane over a mile off the ground, or however the hell you got up there.

I did jack off in Denver two weeks ago. And I met John Elway.

Not at the same time.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Elway. Do you like chocolate?

I am a member though, oddly enough, of a little club I started, called the mile-ahead club. That's where you fuck someone behind a Cracker Barrel billboard. We're having a membership drive too. So, uh, grab your partner and skip to my Lou.

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